I’m feeling a very quiet sense of happiness this year so I was thinking why yesterday. Two things jump out:
- I’m doing only what I want to do with my time.
Yesterday, I went for a social event. I didn’t speak more than two sentences in six hours because I didn’t think I had anything of value to add to the conversation. I don’t think I was a bad guest. Just a quiet one. Today, I’m skipping a book launch party I’m supposed to go to. I’m saying no to everything that I’m “supposed” to do, work, friends, family, books I ought to read, publicity plans, everything, if it doesn’t give me a warm feeling of anticipation in the gut. Tomorrow, I’m taking a call from an excellent company in India about a leadership role although I don’t have any plans to move to India right now. But I want to talk to them so I’m doing it. I don’t know where anything is going to lead me, what’s right for me, what’s not. I’ll likely be broke and friendless by the end of the year. But that’s okay. I have a hunch I’ll add more value to people and the world only if my heart is fully in something. Or maybe not. All I know is I’m happier this way. That counts for something, doesn’t it?
- I’m feeling like I’ve become a medium for my work.
I’m doing writing and book launch stuff half the time and corporate stuff half the time. In both, I’m feeling that work is happening through me instead of because of me. I’m not thinking about whether I’m helping people with my writing or not, doing good work or bad work, making the world a better place or a worse place, I’m just working. Like a tree that flowers without thinking and withers away without clinging, helpless to act as if it were. Hopefully, I flower but it’s okay if I don’t.
Try it and let me know how it goes. Or don’t. Do whatever feels right.